Dear Dr. Love: Are John and me going to be together forever?
Christina, Desmet, Idaho

Dear Christina: I hope you and John are going to be together forever. That is the purpose of your union, after all. Yours is a noble but arduous pursuit. Eternal bliss is a tricky proposition, and even the best partnerships reach soul-searching points in life. Those are the trials that can bring even more joy to a couple. Being committed to another is hard work, and that is sometimes lost because of the initial displays of fireworks that go with courtships. Too many couples come to think a relationship is in trouble the moment the fireworks have dissipated. That is too bad, for there are deeper loves than the giddy beginnings fueled in part by raging hormones. So are you and John forever? I have no crystal ball. I read no palms. I cannot look into the minds of you and John and gauge where you are. I can say that asking the question indicates a healthy concern.

That tells me you want this to work, and you are prepared to do everything in your power to be eternally joined with John. And that is a good thing, because Dr. Love can tell you that the grass is rarely greener on the other side, to borrow an old but appropriate line. Too many couples find that out the hard way, and the emotional and financial costs are steep. So, Christina, I cannot say with certainty that you and John are forever, because there are too many unknown variables over the lifespan of two adults.

But I commend you on your motivation, for motivation plays no small role in making a partnership work, and I wish you and John the best.

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Dear Dr. Love: I was dumped in the worst possible manner. My birthday and my guy calls to say he can’t make it. Then starts saying he doesn’t think it’s working. I say thanks for being honest, but did he have to do it on my birthday? Well, apparently, he forgot the big day and then starts saying he can’t hear me because his phone is “cutting out.” He never called again. Work has been hell to get through. Can you cheer me up?

Dumped On in the Abyss of Despair

Dear Dumped: Only you can cheer yourself up, and the sooner more of you realize it, the better the relationship world will be. Alas, too many of you go into relationships looking to drink from the fountain of unthinkable bliss, ascribing powers to a partner that just do not exist on a practical level. I see and hear of too many partnerships that lose their moorings because the romance starts to wane and everyday duties intrude far more on quality time than anyone realized. I wish more partnerships started from the more realistic concept of complementary parts than the Hollywood-spun notion of soul mates.

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