My husband often complains that I do not show him enough affection, such as touching, initiating sex, etc. What can I do to satisfy him more? I am a little shy and have trouble expressing my feelings to him at times? Raleigh, N.C.

Dear Shy in Raleigh:

There is no crying in baseball, and there is no being shy in a marriage. This is not junior high school. This is the big-time, full-blow adulthood.

Shy? What does shy have to do with a marriage?

Has your husband not seen you at your worst, either when you have been under the weather with the worst flu imaginable or when you have just gotten out of bed after a hard night of partying? Hasn’t your husband seen you butt naked?

Here is my theory on those who are shy, and you are permitted to discount it if you like, Shy in Raleigh.

There comes a time in every marriage — usually sooner than later — when those who, indeed, were shy at one time lose their inhibitions around the one they love. That is the benefit of marriage and being in love.

You know longer have to be shy. You can let it rip. And you certainly have nothing to hide from your husband, and I mean that literally, because, honey, your husband has made a mental notation of every inch of your body by now and committed it to memory.

So if you insist on being shy, Shy in Raleigh, you are only fooling yourself, which your husband undoubtedly has tried to express to you.

Here is a suggestion, Shy in Raleigh: Next time your husband is out and you are at home with time to kill, grab a bottle of wine and have a glass or two to loosen up. Then slip into your most provocative clothes, freshen up your makeup, spray on a little perfume and wait for the big guy to return home.

And as soon as he hits the door step, I would allow my inner tigress to be released. He is your husband. He is no stranger. And it is OK to be a tigress with your husband. It is not OK to be shy with him. Now get to it, Shy in Raleigh.

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