Dear Dr. Love: Are John and me going to be together forever?
Christina, Desmet, Idaho

Dear Christina: I hope you and John are going to be together forever. That is the purpose of your union, after all. Yours is a noble but arduous pursuit. Eternal bliss is a tricky proposition, and even the best partnerships reach soul-searching points in life. Those are the trials that can bring even more joy to a couple. Being committed to another is hard work, and that is sometimes lost because of the initial displays of fireworks that go with courtships. Too many couples come to think a relationship is in trouble the moment the fireworks have dissipated. That is too bad, for there are deeper loves than the giddy beginnings fueled in part by raging hormones. So are you and John forever? I have no crystal ball. I read no palms. I cannot look into the minds of you and John and gauge where you are. I can say that asking the question indicates a healthy concern.

That tells me you want this to work, and you are prepared to do everything in your power to be eternally joined with John. And that is a good thing, because Dr. Love can tell you that the grass is rarely greener on the other side, to borrow an old but appropriate line. Too many couples find that out the hard way, and the emotional and financial costs are steep. So, Christina, I cannot say with certainty that you and John are forever, because there are too many unknown variables over the lifespan of two adults.

But I commend you on your motivation, for motivation plays no small role in making a partnership work, and I wish you and John the best.

Popularity: 14%

Dear Dr. Love: I see a dominatrix about once a week, and sometimes the sessions become very intense. I draw the line at breath play, which, of course, is putting a strain on the relationship. I don’t pay for this service. If I were paying for it, obviously, I would have more control over the situation. The dominatrix likes to remind me of that fact on occasion. Should I just go for it or what?

Sissy in Memphis

Dear Sissy: Breath play in the S&M world is not for the faint of heart or the novice, that is for sure. It takes considerable experience and trust on the part of both parties. If you have zero interest in breath play, I say look elsewhere, even if it means spending a few dollars. Otherwise, there will be a tipping point between you and your dominatrix, rest assured. She will find others to indulge this whim of hers, if she hasn’t already.

You make no mention of your progression in the dom/sub practice. If your desire to be a sub has intensified over the years — and that is usually how it works — then take baby steps with breath play. You may grow to like it, as you no doubt have grown to like other aspects of the S&M world. I suspect you have incorporated certain S&M activities into your play that you did not originally do. Breath play could be one of those things. Or not.

Popularity: 11%