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Dear Dr. Love: My man has a very high sex drive and is addicted to porn. He looks at hundreds of images of Tyra Banks, Beyonce, Mariah Carey and Lisa Raye. I do not look like any of these women, but I am pretty and brown-skinned. He says and acts like he really loves me, but his interests kind of turn me off and I hold back during sex. It is hard for me to focus and enjoy sex with him, because I feel I am not the person he really wants. It is a vicious cycle. I believe if he meets someone who looks like these famous women, he will cheat on me. I am looking for tips on how to wow him in bed and not feel the way I do. We already have discussed my feelings.

Feeling Inadequate in Houston

Dear Inadequate: Stop. Look at yourself. Get a grip. You are worried about something over which you have no control, notably the prospect of your man one day cheating on you because of his love of pornography. News flash: You have no control over that. None. Let me ask you this: Do you worry about your guy leaving the house one day and getting into a car accident? I suspect not. Just imagine all the things in everyday life over which you have no control. Do you worry about them all? I hope not. And like it or not, you have no real control over your lover, only a commitment to one another that is hardly unyielding, as statistics confirm.

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Dear Dr. Love: Can you give me information on how we can have better sex?

Bad Sex Bitch in the Heartland

Dear Bad Sex Bitch: Gee, Bad Sex, you are not making this easy. Better sex? Sex is 95 percent mental, and the rest is just the exchange of bodily fluids. Without knowing the age of you and your partner and the specific issues between you, I am forced to discuss this matter in general terms.

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Dear Dr. Love: I am packing about four inches, which has created no small amount of consternation in my life. I just never knew women were so caught up in the size thing. I think I am a wonderful lover. I love foreplay and kissing my woman all over. But still, when push comes to shove, there is inevitable disappointment. The women may enjoy the experience, but it is not something they want as a regular diet. Do you have any advice?

Four Inches in Suburban D.C.

Dear Four Inches: Welcome to the real world, Mr. Four Inches. Women like big organs — at least most of the time. It is that simple. It is not something women are inclined to discuss with men. No, usually, they say they are seeking partners who like to take long walks on the beaches and travel to exotic destinations, which is fine but disingenuous. Here is the thing: Dick size matters, and I don’t care how many long walks you and your woman take on the sandy beaches of the Bahamas.

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Dear Dr. Love: I was dumped in the worst possible manner. My birthday and my guy calls to say he can’t make it. Then starts saying he doesn’t think it’s working. I say thanks for being honest, but did he have to do it on my birthday? Well, apparently, he forgot the big day and then starts saying he can’t hear me because his phone is “cutting out.” He never called again. Work has been hell to get through. Can you cheer me up?

Dumped On in the Abyss of Despair

Dear Dumped: Only you can cheer yourself up, and the sooner more of you realize it, the better the relationship world will be. Alas, too many of you go into relationships looking to drink from the fountain of unthinkable bliss, ascribing powers to a partner that just do not exist on a practical level. I see and hear of too many partnerships that lose their moorings because the romance starts to wane and everyday duties intrude far more on quality time than anyone realized. I wish more partnerships started from the more realistic concept of complementary parts than the Hollywood-spun notion of soul mates.

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Dear Dr. Love: My husband wants me to do him with a strap-on dildo, and I am having certain reservations about it. It is not that I do not want to bend him over and give him some of his own medicine. It is just that if I do it too well, will he eventually start to seek the real thing from a man?

Wondering in Minneapolis

Dear Wondering: Ah, yes, the attendant question that always come from women who service their men as women. Yes, yes, yes. Might he go gay on you? Might he also go rocket scientist on you? Now you are going, “Huh? What does one have to do with the other.” Look, Wondering in Minneapolis, your husband is not about to go gay merely because you pound him into toe-curling submission with the help of a strap-on dildo.

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Popularity: 7%